Ten WTF?!?! Cartoons EditionThere are pages and pages devoted to 80's cartoons on the InterWeb. Most of them cover things like Transformers, Thundercats, and Voltron. But what about those other great cartoons from the 80's. The ones that, when we watch them now, we think.....how did THIS get made? I present to you a list of 10 WTF cartoons from the 1980s.
10. Pole PositionPole Position came out in 1982 and was on CBS. The show was about 3 kids who were kind of like spies for the government. How did 3 kids get such a job? They inherited them from their parents, who died in a car accident, of course. Sounds a lot like that video game you remember playing right? And as if that wasn't all strange enough, the younger of the three kids had a pet which looked like a cross between a cat, a raccoon, and a possum. Oh! Did I forget to tell you the cars transformed into other vehicles and could talk?
Here's another one for all you gamers out there:
9. Pac ManPac Man debuted on ABC in 1982. The show followed the adventures of Pac Man and his family. It was in this cartoon we learned that Ms. Pac Man had a first name (Pepper), and that the ghosts worked for an evil genius (Mezmeron). Mezmeron wanted power pellets, and had the ghosts do his bidding to try to get them. Why? I don't know, power pellets seemed to be laying everywhere around Pac Land. It's kinda like being an evil genius and trying to get used cigarette butts. You can pretty much find em' on the side of the road everywhere.
Now you are probably saying to yourself there HAD to be cartoons based on something besides video games back then. Well there were. One example is:
8. Rubik The Amazing CubeWow! Who knew a puzzle invented by a Hungarian sculptor could make a good kids cartoon? What could this show possibly be about? Maybe we should look to the theme song for some answers....
On a mysterious night,
Rubik Cube appeared,
bringing happiness.
Rubik Cube has changed,
everything in our lives,
he's colorful,
magical,
lovable!
Rubik,
he's are friend.
Rubik,
The Amazing cube.
Hmmm. That really didn't answer much.
That last cartoon seemed a little weird. Wasn't there something better for our kids to watch? Maybe something a little patriotic. Maybe something like:
7. RamboYes. An executive literally thought to himself one day "Lets take a movie about a disturbed Vietnam vet, and turn it into a children's cartoon". I think this was his second idea actually. His first idea was AIDS The Amazing Virus. Luckily for us, test marketing showed kids preferred bows, arrows and explosions to syringes and unprotected sex. Anyway Rambo was a syndicated cartoon that premiered in 1986. The complete series is currently being released on DVD.
You maybe asking yourself, weren't there any child friendly movies they could turn into cartoons? Actually we have two on the list:
6. Teen WolfNow I actually liked this cartoon and used to watch it all the time. You might be thinking "Yeah me too!" So why is it on the list? I had to add it just for the fact that when I was little I thought "Where the hell did all these other characters come from?" In the movie there was just Scott and his dad. In the cartoon they are joined by Scott's grandpa (I guess he moved in), grandma (I guess it's a package deal with grandpa), his mom (I thought she was dead!) and his little sister (his dad must be into necrophilia, you know screwing the dead mom and all......do you think she likes it doggy style?)
Maybe the mom wasn't dead. Maybe it was like a trial separation, and she took the daughter with her. All I know was, to my very young mind, it was bizarre to see all these other werewolves that weren't even mentioned in the movie. Speaking of not being anything like the movie:
5. Karate KidI didn't even KNOW there was a Karate Kid cartoon. The show debuted on NBC in 1989. It centers around Daniel and Mr. Miyagi searching the globe for a miniature shrine that apparently had mystical healing powers. Yes....mystical powers. I can see how a young man's coming of age tale morphed into a globe trotting karate action series. I kinda do remember seeing this series when it was on the WB, except they called it Jackie Chan Adventures.
OK enough movie cartoons. Let's move on to TV shows. These next two are so odd, I have to assume the TV executives were tripping on LSD when they came up with these ideas.
4. Gilligan's PlanetGilligan's Planet aired in 1982 on CBS. Now, you know how people always make fun of the fact that the Professor could make radios and shit out of coconuts and bamboo, but couldn't repair a hole in a boat? Well, apparently he was also able to make a SPACESHIP out of coconuts and bamboo. A SPACESHIP? Why didn't they just fly it to land? I don't know. But what I DO know is that just about the entire cast returned to voice the characters (except for Tina Louise who played Ginger). I also know that the cartoon's theme song pales in comparison to the original's.
Think that one's weird...then check out:
3. The Fonz and The Happy Days GangThis show took the idea of putting a popular TV show cast on a spaceship a little further. They put the cast on a TIME TRAVELING spaceship. The show premiered on ABC in 1980 and featured The Fonz (Ayyyyyyyy!), Richie, and Ralph. They also threw in a girl from the future named Cupcake (Hey....the Fonz has needs!) and a talking dog named Mr. Cool. Yes, you read that right.
When the series was canceled they then took the Fonz and Mr. Cool and put them into a Laverne and Shirley cartoon. A cartoon where Laverne and Shirley were in the army. Oh and there was a Drill Sergeant as well. He was a talking pig.....named Squealy. My brain hurts just from typing that. Lets move on:
2. Mister TMr. T is cool. Remember in Pee-Wee's Big Adventure when Pee-Wee put Mr. T cereal on top of his breakfast? That was some funny stuff. Anyway Mister T aired on NBC in 1983. It followed the adventures of Mister T as he traveled around the globe with a multi-ethnic group of young gymnasts.
Now, if you don't think the idea of Mr. T traveling with under-age gymnasts is so bad try this little experiment. Imagine the above scenario but substitute Mister T with Michael Jackson. See?....The cartoon seems kinda wrong now, doesn't it? And speaking of wrong, it's time for number one. Now all of the cartoons I mentioned were spun off from other things....but this one is totally original:
1. Turbo TeenStay with me here folks. ABC debuted a cartoon in 1984 starring a teen. But not just any teen....a Turbo Teen. One night a teen named Brett Matthews was driving during a thunderstorm. A bolt of lightning forces him to swerve off of the road. He then crashes into a top secret laboratory. The exact second he crashes into the lab a laser beam hits him. That beam causes him and his car to become one. Now every time Brett gets hot he turns into a car. And every time he gets cold, he turns back into a human. Yes....this IS a real cartoon.
I actually think Turbo Teen would make a great movie! The Farrelly brothers could make it. Can you imagine all the funny scenes there would be when Brett goes on a date? He makes out with a chick in a car until BOOM he turns into a car, busting out of the other car (and probably killing his date in the process). Or, what if he was about to have sex? They could show a girl get on top of him, and the next thing you know she has a stick shift in her...
Anyway, thats it folks. I hope you enjoyed it!
Labels:
Awesome Music Video,
Bloodhound Gang Week
